


Heartbeats

by clayrlibrarian



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Introspection, Sadness, remember molly?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:07:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26975611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clayrlibrarian/pseuds/clayrlibrarian
Summary: Jester knows she’s a terrible healer.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Heartbeats

Jester knows she’s a terrible healer. She knows it with every time she heals Beau’s broken hands only after the fight is over, knows it every time Fjord spits up water, coughs wrecking his body, sees it in Yasha’s blood staining the white parts of her hair and feels it in the faint fluttering of Caleb’s heartbeat when, yet again, one of the potions they force down his throat is the only thing between him and death.

She’s beyond grateful for Caduceus every time her friends come closer to death than any of them, frail in the wake of what happened to Molly, really is capable of handling. Because, when things get heated, when it gets serious, she doesn’t see things until it’s too late. It takes her too long to notice the gashes on her friends’ bodies, the hurts and the blood. And by the time she does notice, she, yet again, will have let herself get carried away by the sparkly potential of her more damaging spells. The best way to protect her friends is to kill whoever plans on killing them first, right? 

Jester knows she’s a terrible healer and she’s incredibly glad that nowadays it’s not a thing she needs to work on that much anymore. It’s because she knows, that, where Yasha and Fjord wish desperately they’d been there when that happened to Molly, that, where they believe that if the Mighty Nein had been together for that, they’d have gotten away unscathed, she’s less sure. 

In her dreams, her nightmares, the ones not even Arty - no he’s the Traveller now, a proper god with a proper name just like she’s a proper cleric - knows about, she’s there. They all are there, when Molly gets stabbed. They’re all fighting, they’re there. Jester fights their enemies with glowing magics and makes sure they hurt for all they put her through. She shouts vicious Infernal at them and Molly understands it. She rains down deadly sparkles. Their enemies die. And in the end, when Molly still gets stabbed, she’s right there at his side. She’s there, and from the fight before that, she’s spent. There’s no more of the gifts the Traveller granted her, no more potions in her bag, nothing, as she feels Molly’s last heartbeat, powerless to save him.

**Author's Note:**

> this really isn’t much of anything but keeping track of stuff on tumblr where this was prompted is hard and i’m actually kinda proud of it.  
> visit me over on the blue hellsite @cinnamonroyalty


End file.
